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Recovering From the Cult Experience
The First Step-Addressing Tough Questions
I spent ten years of my adult life in a spiritual cult in which we
lived communally. Leaving it was a struggle. Getting my feet on the
ground after I departed was also a struggle. Once on the outside,
I felt it hard to connect with others. I felt alienated. For me,
recovering from cult life required courage, time, trust and the forming
of new associations with people. In time, I found new kindred spirits
who had no association with the cult.
Those who have needed to separate
themselves from a cult and it’s leader have probably discovered
how many layered their involvement was. Doubt, guilt, anger and fear
are common emotions one has to deal with in leaving a cult.
For people leaving a cult (or trying to) I often recommend making some lists:
- What lies did the cult promote?
- What truths did the cult promote?
- Some examples of the cult mixing truth with lies
- How was I manipulated?
There are several values in such list making. First, they can help validate the need to get free from
-the lies
-the seductions
-the control
-the abuses.
Secondly, these lists help clear away
the confusion generated by the cult leaders. Cults usually thrive on
the self doubt of its members. But when the truth becomes evident, self
doubt melts away.
Answering questions like these can be very
therapeutic. The self knowledge it brings sets the stage for further
healing from the cult experience.
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